They called our bluff…

We really didn’t think we’d be called for a placement and certainly not this soon, but just two days after I said we’d give it another go, the call came in. Even though we’re on the board as a single child home, I’ve always said that we’d take a sibling group. And that’s what this was: one 5 year old boy and his 18 month old brother. I know, I said no diapers too, but I just couldn’t say no, after all it turned out that this little guy and I share the same birthday. It's serendipity. And, just like that, we were back in the game.

Straight from work, I went to the DCF office to grab a pack n play and diapers. Then I was off to the grocery store for milk, wipes and baby snacks, but I was too distracted by the service plan sitting in the passenger seat. The manilla envelope was beckoning me. I had to know why these two little boys were being scooped up from daycare and being whisked away to a safer place.

Reading the service plan is akin to a page-turning fiction novel filled with juicy details, but with one distinction. It’s not fiction. The juicy details are usually heartbreaking facts; that unfortunately we need to know in order to help the children adjust to their new place. Quickly, I learn that we have a single mom, pain meds and a temper. That is never a good combo. Then you add on living in a motel room and two small children and I know it’s just not a good situation. Clearly, this woman has no family support or has burned all of her bridges. I feel overwhelmed for a minute. I take a deep breath and exhale. But the line “hand print left on his cheek”, on his little 5 year old face echoes through my mind and my eyes fill up. Who could strike their little, innocent child like that?

I know I wouldn’t. I know that my friends wouldn’t. I know that my family wouldn’t. But, this woman, she did. She is not like the people I know who have their life carefully planned out or know how to cope with it when it doesn’t go as planned. She doesn’t have a support network? The education? The faith? The tools needed to handle life and stressful situations. When most people call a friend for help, when most people pray to God for direction, when most people simply take a deep breath and exhale, this person reaches for something to take away the pain. And so it begins. Addiction. A pill here and there. A drink to wash it down. Just a little something to get me through the day. It’s a secret. She doesn’t tell anyone or if she does, it is usually explained away with “I hurt my back” or “I have a tooth ache” or whatever other ailments come to mind that day. Doctors will keep prescribing them, even if they have you pegged at a “drug seeker”. Once, while I was in the ER for a nasty fall on my elbow, I could hear someone in the next room begging for them. This doctor actually put her off for a while, but then 15 minutes later he's offering me some for my elbow. To which I replied, “Umm, couldn’t I just take some Advil?” For the life of me, I just can’t understand why they dole out narcotics like candy! However, the reality is that they do and they are everywhere. They are addictive. They ruin lives. They can cause otherwise seemingly normal people to unravel out of control and smack their precious child so hard that they leave a hand print on their face.

Cars driving by stir me from my thoughts and I slide the paperwork back into the envelope from which it came and run into the store. I grabbed what I needed and my phone rang once again. It was the social worker. She officially had the boys in her custody and we just needed to work out the logistics. Since it was already dark and rainy and our house is difficult to find we planned to have Michael meet up at the nearby grocery store. I made a stop for pajamas and clothes to bring us through the next few days and also grabbed some pizzas, because, well, who doesn't like pizza? I find it's pretty universal with kids.

Seconds after I waddled in the house with all of the goodies, Michael raced out to pick up the little sweeties...and when I say sweeties, oh, do I mean sweeties! If ever there was a time that I wanted to post a photo of one of my kids it was now. Whenever, Michael walked through the door with that little angel fast asleep in the car seat, oh man, did I ever feel overwhelmed and at a loss for words. Yup, I cried. From his smooth cheeks to his long lashes, pouty lips and all, he was adorable. And his brother, he instantly reminded me of mine, with his dark, wavy hair and brown eyes, such a handsome little guy.
And there we were, Michael & I plus four boys, ages 8 and under, gobbling up pizza. It was a good night.